Author Archives: josh

GIGANTICS: DIE already! (Happily Never After)

The Gigantics is a five-man production team assembled by Onry Ozzborn (a.k.a. Reason and Count Draven of Grayskul/Oldominion). Die Already is out on OCTOBER 6th, and is their debut record. This powerhouse story is a concept album about dysfunctional families of the future and features the voices of over 50 of the most influential and talented people in independent hip hop today. Far from a compilation, this album pulls disparate artists from their respective groups and weaves them together into a dream team.

Among the many outstanding individuals appearing here are Aesop Rock, Murs, Mr. Lif (Def Jux), Swollen Members,Eligh (of Living Legends), Pigeon John (Quannum), P.O.S. (Rhymesayers), Solillaquist of Sound, Josh Martinez, and Awol One. Though Die Already is primarily a hip hop album, The Gigantics’ production takes you through alternative, metal, punk, pop, electronic, street, and club, providing a disc that will satisfy any listener.

R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y.

WE’VE GOT VIDEOS COMING OUT THE YING YANG TWINS.

THE FIRST BIG BAD BOY by STUEY KUBRICK,director of Josh Martinez retro-classic ‘Splitsville’, the new video is the really reallest reality ever.

Check it out. It’s the dopest yet. Directed and shot by world famous nephew of reclusive pervert and now-dead brilliant director, Stanley Kubrick, Stuey Kubrick is a chip off the old block indeed. The cleanest video yet, the style is perverse, the day fantastic, the mini golf, epic. In a high fashion way, this video kicks off the beginning of a sustained period of marketing and spin that’ll take you, the reader, from the depths of ennui, to the very pits of hellacious balls-to-the-wall whimsy. Dig in.

Cause you Can’t Download a Handjob!

The internet is back!!! We have waited a long time to get this whole internet thing back on the go. And it will happen in stages. Right now we have a flashy splash page and some bare bones information. Like anything in the Martinez world, things take time. For now, the joshmartinez website will be comprised of tour dates, the latest news and links to more developed knowledge resources, like the myspace, where new songs, updates and nudie flicks are being parsed out to the wider blogosphere chatline.

The Boy Version

Can I get that in the boy version? Boy version? The a+b=c. Cause and Effect. Layman’s Terms. Magna Carta. Whatever. Since the beginning of time, man has used ciphers and numbers to convey hidden information, coded language to pass on secret messages of war, love and intrigue. Man has also broken almost every code over time, proving that man’s mind is extremely strong at tactical and logical processing. We are experts in breaking down code of visible messaging. It is the invisible spectrum where we become so hopelessly lost.

When it comes to emotions, man is in so perilously in over his own head, that conversation with significant others can take on the Madonna-esque layering of Kabbalah riddles. Like a Virgin. By the by, it comes down to this. As far as the rainbow goes, I can see almost all spectrums of visible light, but when it comes to the massive emotional complexity whose powers and strains women must live with, the invisible spectrum, you lose me. The hand gesture that negates the vocal wording, or the triple meaning inserted into a compliment that is also a complaint laced with a demand for better performance, and I just want to know if your mad and why and what actual thing can I do to fix it. If you tell me, as opposed to assuming I understood that the slight pause before hello indicated that there was a problem, and if I ask what’s wrong, you just tell me, instead of saying nothing and hate-punching me at 4 in the morning hammered to finally let me know your pissed. I actually want to know what your putting down. I’m respectful and slow, I won’t cross lines. Some call me MR. Boundaries. Actually I’m calling myself that from now on cause I stole it from my friend Mike D, who is absolutely not Mr. Boundaries.

Rumble Fish

Women can see infrared, gamma rays and I’ll be damned if they can’t actually see the microwaves cooking the hungry man frozen dinner I’m currently eating. Women are more in tune with their emotions, and in fact are constantly paralyzed by them, so much information and subtleties being gleaned from everyday activities. Like when your best friend tells you the dress looks amazing on you its cause she either hates it, or hates you for having gotten it first. Or he said we’d hang later, but what did he really mean, and does he think I’m fat and I’m sure he’s fucking some other hoe… and they are almost always right. Noooooo.

I write these things over a couple of weeks, modifying and editing them till they have that black & blue steak feel, entirely charred on the outside, but raw, delicious and more than a little poisonous to the health. I watched Matt Dillon in Rumble Fish last night and the way he talks to Diane Lane, who is obviously the hottest, coolest girl in school, and who still gives him play, and actually likes him, after he is caught in a ménage a six is so guy vs girl simplicity but hell if its not entirely entertaining and symbolic too.

‘Baby Baby Why you mad?’

‘Cause you fuck other girls and then want to kiss me!’

‘Baby? What do other girls have to do with you and me?’

YESSSSSSSSSSS! No?