SEX BUFFET IS NUMBER 1 IN CANADA!!!

Martinez is killing the charts in Canada. It is a ridiculous time to be a Martinez fan as the streets of an entire country have been covered in gold coins care of his recent opus. Shattering expectations, this record has been number one for 6 weeks straight and is leading to arena tours and offers of praise from as far away as Paris, France, where the French have been kissing and sneaking side boob over cheap wine and back alley HJ’s. His main competition is one of his favorite friends, Moka Only, whose fantastic new album Carrots and Eggs, in both terrific on the ears, and yet another release that brings Moka back to his rightful place as a leader in Canadian hip hop worldwide. I loves him. Now get back to The Buffet and eat til your sick.

http://www.earshot-online.com/charts/2008/November/hiphop.html

Josh Martinez finally gets a Videofact grant – Thanks Classified

After 42 unsuccessful attempts across the Camobear Records family of artists, Josh Martinez, on a Classified beat, with a Skratch Bastid scratch chorus, finally received a grant for the anthemic “Going Back TO Hali” from Canada’s Number one rap record in the country, “THE WORLD FAMOUS SEX BUFFET”. That’s right ladies, Martinez has the number one rap record in Canada for the month of November, and is challenging a run of 5 weeks in a row at the top slot. I will fly back to Halifax over Xmas break, and film the video with Classified and Skratch Bastid, and hopefully we will book some kind of show together to showcase the Halifax heat for our home town to see together. This is, like, 30 years in the making. I actually can’t believe we did it. CAMOBEAR RECORDS, finally gets a Videofact Grant. KING ME KANADA!

Sex Buffet Pushed BACK!

The record did not come out on Sept. 16, and the release date came and went and the record is still not in stores. Not the dopest, but not really a big deal. The album got moved back to October cause the Chris Isaak Christmas albums hit the presses hotter, as did the Cher and T-Pain duets record featuring Snoop Dogg and Keith Urban. You can only whoop so much ass in one year, so I make this deal with you, the still vaguely interested passive potential consumer that you may turn out to be. The official album release date has been, the day before I leave for Europe. WE will celebrate together in North America, November and December, for I will be on the road then. Making friends and money, and apologizing for nothing. The album will be available on cd and double vinyl. We will have this available though our webstore as soon as it comes in, and we will make sure to let you know first.

But the Digital SEX is Here NOW NOW NOW!!!

CAMOBEAR DIGITAL DOT COM. You heard me. We now have our own private Itunes built right into your digital life. If you want any of the Camobear catalog right now, all you need to do is CLICK HERE. We’re featuring the brand new fully awesome totally- digital World Famous Sex Buffet record and the astounding and brilliant GIGANTICS – Die Already album. NOW. Exclusively here, online and in yur face, immediately and especially NOW!!! It also includes two bonus videos live and direct to you, for R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y. and Fight or F*#k, which you can stick right up in your I-LIFE.

GIGANTICS: DIE already! (Happily Never After)

The Gigantics is a five-man production team assembled by Onry Ozzborn (a.k.a. Reason and Count Draven of Grayskul/Oldominion). Die Already is out on OCTOBER 6th, and is their debut record. This powerhouse story is a concept album about dysfunctional families of the future and features the voices of over 50 of the most influential and talented people in independent hip hop today. Far from a compilation, this album pulls disparate artists from their respective groups and weaves them together into a dream team.

Among the many outstanding individuals appearing here are Aesop Rock, Murs, Mr. Lif (Def Jux), Swollen Members,Eligh (of Living Legends), Pigeon John (Quannum), P.O.S. (Rhymesayers), Solillaquist of Sound, Josh Martinez, and Awol One. Though Die Already is primarily a hip hop album, The Gigantics’ production takes you through alternative, metal, punk, pop, electronic, street, and club, providing a disc that will satisfy any listener.

R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y.

WE’VE GOT VIDEOS COMING OUT THE YING YANG TWINS.

THE FIRST BIG BAD BOY by STUEY KUBRICK,director of Josh Martinez retro-classic ‘Splitsville’, the new video is the really reallest reality ever.

Check it out. It’s the dopest yet. Directed and shot by world famous nephew of reclusive pervert and now-dead brilliant director, Stanley Kubrick, Stuey Kubrick is a chip off the old block indeed. The cleanest video yet, the style is perverse, the day fantastic, the mini golf, epic. In a high fashion way, this video kicks off the beginning of a sustained period of marketing and spin that’ll take you, the reader, from the depths of ennui, to the very pits of hellacious balls-to-the-wall whimsy. Dig in.

Cause you Can’t Download a Handjob!

The internet is back!!! We have waited a long time to get this whole internet thing back on the go. And it will happen in stages. Right now we have a flashy splash page and some bare bones information. Like anything in the Martinez world, things take time. For now, the joshmartinez website will be comprised of tour dates, the latest news and links to more developed knowledge resources, like the myspace, where new songs, updates and nudie flicks are being parsed out to the wider blogosphere chatline.

The Boy Version

Can I get that in the boy version? Boy version? The a+b=c. Cause and Effect. Layman’s Terms. Magna Carta. Whatever. Since the beginning of time, man has used ciphers and numbers to convey hidden information, coded language to pass on secret messages of war, love and intrigue. Man has also broken almost every code over time, proving that man’s mind is extremely strong at tactical and logical processing. We are experts in breaking down code of visible messaging. It is the invisible spectrum where we become so hopelessly lost.

When it comes to emotions, man is in so perilously in over his own head, that conversation with significant others can take on the Madonna-esque layering of Kabbalah riddles. Like a Virgin. By the by, it comes down to this. As far as the rainbow goes, I can see almost all spectrums of visible light, but when it comes to the massive emotional complexity whose powers and strains women must live with, the invisible spectrum, you lose me. The hand gesture that negates the vocal wording, or the triple meaning inserted into a compliment that is also a complaint laced with a demand for better performance, and I just want to know if your mad and why and what actual thing can I do to fix it. If you tell me, as opposed to assuming I understood that the slight pause before hello indicated that there was a problem, and if I ask what’s wrong, you just tell me, instead of saying nothing and hate-punching me at 4 in the morning hammered to finally let me know your pissed. I actually want to know what your putting down. I’m respectful and slow, I won’t cross lines. Some call me MR. Boundaries. Actually I’m calling myself that from now on cause I stole it from my friend Mike D, who is absolutely not Mr. Boundaries.

Rumble Fish

Women can see infrared, gamma rays and I’ll be damned if they can’t actually see the microwaves cooking the hungry man frozen dinner I’m currently eating. Women are more in tune with their emotions, and in fact are constantly paralyzed by them, so much information and subtleties being gleaned from everyday activities. Like when your best friend tells you the dress looks amazing on you its cause she either hates it, or hates you for having gotten it first. Or he said we’d hang later, but what did he really mean, and does he think I’m fat and I’m sure he’s fucking some other hoe… and they are almost always right. Noooooo.

I write these things over a couple of weeks, modifying and editing them till they have that black & blue steak feel, entirely charred on the outside, but raw, delicious and more than a little poisonous to the health. I watched Matt Dillon in Rumble Fish last night and the way he talks to Diane Lane, who is obviously the hottest, coolest girl in school, and who still gives him play, and actually likes him, after he is caught in a ménage a six is so guy vs girl simplicity but hell if its not entirely entertaining and symbolic too.

‘Baby Baby Why you mad?’

‘Cause you fuck other girls and then want to kiss me!’

‘Baby? What do other girls have to do with you and me?’

YESSSSSSSSSSS! No?

Cocaine Comedown

Cocaine is back to being out. After a sustained period of being the new black, cocaine is now just as boring and suburban as it always was. Petty, loud, and jittery, the people have spoken, and they’ve spoken non-stop for two hours, grinding their teeth and writhing like a coil of kittens, cracked out and right as rain. Along with next day depression and a week long run of mild anxiety, the sustained hopelessness of it all has left its mark on the party people. And that’s why we’re back to roofies and cheap wine.

Speaking of cocaine, we are investing heavily in advertising. By heavy, I mean pretty lightly. October will feature a full page Camobear ad in Wax Poetics magazine, 1/4 page in Canadian monthly Exclaim, and a quick ad buy in CMJ, the college Music Journalists. Courtesy of Spectre Music, radio stations around the north American frontier will be pushed to play The Sex Buffet record. If you’re a radio station, and haven’t got your radio copy, bug elliot@spectremusic.com.